


philter

by erenyaeger



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-30
Updated: 2015-07-30
Packaged: 2018-04-12 01:27:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,056
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4459994
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/erenyaeger/pseuds/erenyaeger
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <em>Armin wondered what it even mattered if the only boy that he wanted to want him like that seemed completely unfazed.</em>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	philter

**Author's Note:**

> _hello everyone! I haven't stopped working on What the Water Gave, but I did take a quick detour to get this idea out of my head. It was inspired by this tumblr post, and I liked the idea so much I just wanted to do something short and sweet for it. I hope you enjoy it!_

Armin’s elven mother had talked to him about what puberty would mean for him as a halfling, about how he would be able to start practicing more complex magic with her and about how humans would fall all over themselves to so much as catch a glance at him, and Armin wondered what it even mattered if the only boy that he wanted to want him like that seemed completely unfazed.

 

At first he had been excited. He wondered if, once he was beautiful and skilled at enchantments like the other elves in his family, maybe Eren would start to look at him differently. Maybe he would start to go weak in the knees when he saw him, ask him on dates, take him to dances, _maybe he would even touch him in new and different places_ -

 

And in the heat of that summer, at the beginning it seemed as though maybe there was a chance.

 

When he had growing pains (and only grew one inch, in the end), Eren sat on his bed with him when he came over every day and massaged his legs for him, caressing Armin’s soft skin with his strong hands as they moved from his feet to his shins and then to his thighs and then, closer, _closer_ — but not ever any further than closer.

 

When he spent too much time looking in the mirror and inspecting the little changes taking place, Eren would creep up behind him and pull him into his arms to whisper he already looked just right, and his lips would be only millimeters away from his skin and they would almost, _almost_ touch- but only ever almost.

 

It was maddening, but it wasn’t a particularly shocking turn of events. They had always been close. They had always touched each other a little more than was normal for friends ( _ah, but they were_ best friends _Armin told himself_ ), and that was why Armin couldn’t help the sinking feeling that Eren probably didn’t look at him the same way lovers look at each other at all.

 

They were best friends, after all.

 

As Eren seemed to stay the same, Armin wondered if maybe he wasn’t changing at all, and if his eyes were playing tricks on him from time to time. He wondered if his mother was only attempting to make him feel better when she told him that he was growing up so fast, and if people only stared at him when he went out because he held Eren’s hand everywhere they went.

 

He almost thought that maybe he was somehow going to be a very un-pretty elf, especially as his magical abilities flourished and Eren’s gaze on him continued to stay static.

 

When he went to school, however, he realized his mother had been completely honest.

 

Three _boys_ , straight as the boards on hardwood floors, had asked him on a date before the day was even half over.  Armin tried to tell them he was a boy, and then tried to tell them that he really wasn’t looking to date anyone right then, and they didn’t seem to care enough to leave him alone or even take a few steps back from his locker. Not until Eren took care of things, at least. Two of them walked away from the ordeal with thick bloody noses and one of them with a split lip, all courtesy of his _best friend_ Eren who Armin was madly in love with and who, at this rate, would probably never love him back.

 

He went home and cried until he heard a familiar tapping at his window.

 

Frantically he tried to wipe his tears off with his pillow, checked the mirror to make sure he didn’t look too disheveled as he combed his fingers through his hair, and then hurried over to the window ledge where Eren was waiting. He slid the glass upwards, and then offered Eren a hand in.

 

“You can use the door, you know.” Armin giggled, although he found himself still sniffling a little, and Eren just grinned.

 

“This way’s more fun.” Eren teased, before his face softened a little. “Have you been crying?”

 

Eren knew him too well.

 

“N-not really.” Armin lied, although the tremor in his voice gave him away. At that, Eren took Armin’s hand in his own and led him to sit on the bed with him, squeezing a little.

 

“What’s wrong? You’re my best friend and it’s safe to tell me; you’re safe with me.” He soothed, with a certain tenderness that Eren seemed to reserve just for him that absolutely made Armin swoon. He wondered why he couldn’t make Eren feel the same.

 

“You are my best friend, you’re right. And I’m yours.” _And I wish I could be more to you—_ “It’s… I guess I’m just really, _really_ overwhelmed with everything that happened at school today. I didn’t expect it and it just… makes me feel weird… and sad…” _because I wish you would look at me like that instead—_

 

“I’m so sorry.” Eren soothed, pulling him into a warm, firm embrace, and Armin clung to him and breathed him in. “Did I do anything wrong?”

 

“What? No, no!” Armin squeaked. “You were great. I needed you there. I just… there’s only one person I would want to ask me anything like that, and it’s… really not any of them.”

 

Armin almost whispered the last part, and when Eren moved back from the embrace and stared at him with a cool intensity he felt like maybe he was freezing.

 

“Do I know them?” Eren asked, and Armin might have assumed Eren was asking to avoid beating them up… if only Eren’s expression didn’t seem to convey the exact opposite. He wondered what could possibly make Eren grow so cold, but in the end he decided that it wasn’t worth pressing the issue and risking Eren walking out on him.

 

“Y-yeah… but you know, it doesn’t even matter, it’s not going to happen anyway. How about we just assume everyone there who asks me is bad, ok?” Armin offered quickly, because _there_ was not _here_ with him and Eren and anyway Eren probably couldn’t break his own nose and _anyway_ Eren would probably never think to ask him anyway—

 

 Eren seemed to warm back up a little and reached for his hand again.

 

“Yeah?” he asked, and Armin smiled to try and coax Eren back into smiling too.

 

“Yeah.” Armin agreed, leaning his head onto Eren’s shoulder, and Eren moved an arm to the blonde’s waist.

 

“It upsets you a lot when they do that, then.” Eren confirmed, and Armin nodded into his shoulder.

 

“Yeah.” The blonde agreed. “I really appreciated you coming to save me. I guess it’s a lot like when we were kids, only now instead of wanting to punch me they want to try out back pick-up lines.”

 

Eren laughed with him, and he continued to hold the blonde close.

 

“And I’ll still always come to get you.” The brunette promised, and Armin wrapped both arms around Eren’s shoulders and held on tight.

 

“Always?”

 

“Always. And if you want I can try and take your mind off of it later; I can walk home with you and we can make dinner and stuff. Not that we don’t already, but. We’ll have whatever you want to feel better.”

 

It _almost_ felt like it could have been a date, and Armin would take what he could get.

 

“I would really like that.” He murmured against Eren’s shoulder, and Eren started running his hands through Armin’s hair.

 

“Then that’s what we’ll do, then.” Eren assured him.

 

Armin decided then that maybe things weren’t all bad.

 

______________________

 

In a fortnight, Armin refined his skills as a strategist.

 

He loved the attention Eren gave him after anyone else so much as looked at him the wrong way. He loved it, he _needed_ it, and he would do absolutely anything to get it even if it meant sometimes people would walk away injured either in body or in spirit.

 

And so he formed a system to obtain it.

 

He watched carefully, learned just how little he could manage to respond to whoever was talking to him in order to keep them just long enough until Eren got there, and where to stand so that Eren would see him. It was a very, very specific process that he went through, and sometimes he felt like he was getting too good at manipulating people and maybe he was a little out of his mind for doing it, but whenever Eren came to fuss over him it only encouraged him to do it again.

 

And so he did. Again. And again. And again. And he watched Eren’s reactions closely.

 

It made him angry when people approached Armin like that, he noticed. Not at Armin, but at the rest of the world, and it was the same anger that Armin remembered from when Eren used to save him from ending up with a mouthful of blood.

 

He noticed how Eren would clutch him closer each time, how it wore on him, and Armin almost wondered if maybe he should tone it down, stop bringing this upon him, maybe learn some defense magic instead of asking Eren to do this for him, but what if Eren stopped holding him close if he did?

 

And so it happened again. This time, however, it led to a rather new outcome.

 

It started the same.  A dumb catcall, a pick up line, Armin passively “mm”-ing and waiting for Eren to come to his aid. When Eren came storming down the hallway this time, though, he looked absolutely wild.

 

He latched his arm around Armin’s waist with a vice-like grip, staring down the unwanted suitor as he pulled Armin against his chest with his other arm. Armin relaxed into the embrace the way one would relax into warm bathwater after a long day, breathing him in like he was the only oxygen he had, and he was so content he almost could have fallen asleep like that if what Eren said next didn’t shock him awake again.

 

“What the _fuck_ do you think you’re doing with _my_ boyfriend?” Eren snarled, and Armin’s eyes widened and his jaw dropped. He was lucky he was against Eren’s chest so he didn’t raise any suspicions to Eren’s claim.

 

“Your _boyfriend_?” The other boy squeaked, shaking under the scrutiny of Eren’s stare.

 

Eren just nodded.

 

“Yes. _My_ boyfriend.”

 

Armin thought he must be dreaming.

 

“But he didn’t say—”

 

“I bet he didn’t say _anything_ to you because he doesn’t owe you any sort of response when you’re harassing him. I suggest you leave now before he tells me just what you said to him.”

 

The rejected boy shuffled off quickly, especially since recently Eren had gained a reputation for a really mean right hook.

 

Armin finally looked up at Eren, full of questions, and Eren just pressed a kiss to his forehead in response.

 

Armin almost fainted.

 

“We’ll talk after school.” Eren explained, and Armin wasn’t sure what could possibly come of this but he was determined to milk the arrangement while he could.

 

He leaned up and pressed a nervous, shaky kiss to Eren’s jaw, sighing in relief when Eren seemed to relax into it.

 

“Okay.” He whispered back, and with that he clung tighter and kissed him again.

 

______________________

 

The rest of the day was blissful in the most painful sort of way.

 

Eren’s arm felt like it was made to fit around his waist. Eren’s lips pressing against his forehead, into his hair were softer than Armin could have ever imagined, and _god he wanted to feel them on his own lips_ —

 

But then he would remember that technically they were only doing this to uphold an image, and maybe _that_ would be crossing a line, and then his heart would sink into his stomach until someone else would glance their way and Eren’s lips would be pressed against him once again and Armin would go through that same yearning all over again.

 

He wondered, if he could just get really brave for one moment, if he could lean up and press their lips together so that at least once in his lifetime he could feel what it felt like to kiss the love of his life before he would probably end up celibate because _who could possibly be anywhere near as perfect as Eren simply no one else would do_ and maybe this was as close to a relationship as he would ever get—

 

_If he could just get really brave for one moment maybe Eren would like kissing him enough that he could somehow trick him into wanting him, if not loving._

 

Right. As though someone who had never kissed before would somehow be skilled enough to seduce his best friend into anything more.

 

Alas, as they stood on his doorstep and unlocked the door to the house, his time to test that theory was up. Armin kicked himself for letting time run out and for letting his chance (however small it was) go to the wind.

 

They walked to Armin’s room in unfamiliar silence, and Armin felt like he was going to be sick until Eren finally spoke again.

 

“I’m sorry I caught you off guard like that today.” Eren started, setting his bag at the foot of Armin’s bed. “I just… it’s too much, watching assholes like that saunter up to you like they fucking know you or something, and I hate it because it feels like they’ll take you from me.”

 

Eren’s voice had lowered to a whisper by his last word, and he chewed his lip and looked down at his feet. Usually Eren was never one to lose confidence in his words, and in that moment he looked so fragile that Armin felt like if he didn’t wrap his arms around him right that second Eren would shatter to pieces- and he couldn’t let Eren fall to pieces.

 

“Hey.” Armin soothed against his collarbone, his lips pressed against it as he tucked his head underneath Eren’s chin and clung to him. “Hey, Eren. You’ll never lose me. You’re my best friend, remember? And I’m yours?”

 

Armin repeated their mantra, and Eren wrapped his arms around the blonde before he replied.

 

“That’s true… I just… I need to tell you something, Armin.”

 

Armin’s heart caught in his throat, and he felt sick all over again.

 

“Oh?” He just barely managed to choke out, because this couldn’t be good, it was never good when people said things like this, and what awful thing was Eren going to tell him was it _today was a mistake_ or _I can’t do this for you anymore_ or oh dear god please don’t let it be _I’m seeing someone_ —

 

Eren stepped back a little to meet his eyes and Armin could feel his watering.

 

“… What I did, earlier. I… when I said I was afraid of losing you, I didn’t mean as just a friend. I… I’m afraid that one day, that one person that you said would be okay with being asked out by will ask. And then… I won’t ever get to.”

 

 

Armin’s heart was beating a mile a minute, and _this couldn’t be going where he thought it could be going that would be too good to be true—_

 

“G-get to what?” Armin squeaked, all trembly fingers and sweaty palms, and Eren shook his head and looked at the wall.

 

“To be your boyfriend. And I’m sorry, because saying that was really selfish of me and there were probably a million other ways I could have made him leave you alone but _I just wanted to know what it could feel like and I’m sorry—_ ”

 

Eren’s voice cracked the way it did whenever he talked about his mother, and even though the revelation marked the happiest moment of his life the sound broke Armin’s heart all the same.

 

He stepped forward and melted his lips against Eren’s to remedy the situation.

 

Eren’s hands were on his waist and pulling him closer in no time flat, and Armin tangled his fingers in Eren’s hair to steady himself as they kissed again, and again, and again, and in that moment years of _almost_ finally amounted to something.

 

When they were finally breathless enough to stop (which was a considerable amount of time later), Armin pulled Eren to the edge of the bed so that he could sit before curling into his lap and clinging.

 

“…How?” The blonde finally asked lamely, and Eren raised a brow.

 

“How… how did you somehow still want to kiss me after I told you that?” Eren replied, only half teasing as he started to play with the ends of Armin’s hair.

 

Armin shook his head.

 

“No… how… how did you hide that from me?”

 

“I’m sorry. I should have told you sooner.” Eren apologized, holding Armin closer, and Armin shook his head again.

 

“No, I mean… when elves hit puberty usually humans react really intensely to it because our magical abilities also start to develop more, and elven magic is really enticing to humans. It’s a lot like an aphrodisiac, really, only a lot stronger than anything human-made. Mom told me all about it. She said it was so bad for her that the only person she could hang out with was my dad because… he… already loved her."

 

Armin’s eyes widened, and Eren smiled shyly at him.

 

“I thought you were beautiful before any of them did.” He offered gently, and Armin kissed him again.

 

“You were the one person I wanted to be asked out by. I wanted that before any of this happened.” Armin clarified, and Eren squeezed him tighter.

 

“I guess we have a lot of time to make up for, don’t we?” Eren mumbled into his hair, and Armin grinned.

 

“When we used to play house in kindergarten I used to imagine doing everything for real when we were older.” He admitted.

 

“When I gave you that ring from the coin machine I wondered how many quarters wedding rings would cost.” The brunette replied, kissing Armin’s forehead, and Armin beamed.

 

“I guess we should get started on making up that time, then.” He suggested, and their lips met again.


End file.
